under the light

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Friday, July 15, 2011

Today 15 Jun 12.54am.

I decided to record this down. Because it's the first time I have cried for someone else besides my family and those cheesy scenes in dramas.

I know I have cried and maybe I had been holding it in the whole time today. And the whole week last week. The mere thought of them together was disturbing. I promised myself that he would just be a normal friend, but seems as though I have put in more feelings that I should have. It doesn't help that she's laughing it off. It feels that I am the only one suffering. I know shouldn't be thinking like that because I just think too much.
There's no work to throw myself in the next week. Only her who would be tapping on her phone. To him.

Oh. So this is what they call " it" , it's really kinda stupid I couldn't understand it last time when my frens spoke to me about it. But now I do. Does it mean I have grown?

All these love songs that I am listening to only sings about the pain after separation or during the relationship. But mine is already like that before anything. I can't believe I am saying such stupid things. Maybe I will laugh one day when I look back. Or
Just feel the ache that i am feeling now. My statements are so cheesy it stings.

1:46 PM

Fi- Fi-. C
to find a day where from then on
i would never need to lie again.

i really love vanilla.
for its straightforwardness

.mushiness with reality.

Irreplacable , unerasable memories.
June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 July 2010 September 2010 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 November 2012