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Thursday, July 28, 2011

Ok. Yes. It has ended? Between me, her and him? Ok. He should be the first out of the picture since i decided to be out of their little game. And then she. She may think she is right being upset and suffering now but she has no idea the feelings and turmoil that I went through in the past few weeks.
Thanks for the bye bye wave. I chose to stick my hand out and you pushed it away. I never pushed yours away. I just decided to stand still and remain where I am.
I have my stand you have yours.
I may be wrong at some, but at least I had felt guilt. Doubt you did.

What's this primary school tiff. Bull shit seriously. Ultimate stupidity.

The guy too deserves a whacking. If he hadn't screwed up people's mind it wouldn't be like that for two friends.
Kinda sad. I know she didn't choose who ever over who cause that's really a really childish assumptions. I just wished she had given me time.
It's gonna be a regret. I know it. But nothing can be turned back already.


7:11 PM


Friday, July 15, 2011

Today 15 Jun 12.54am.

I decided to record this down. Because it's the first time I have cried for someone else besides my family and those cheesy scenes in dramas.

I know I have cried and maybe I had been holding it in the whole time today. And the whole week last week. The mere thought of them together was disturbing. I promised myself that he would just be a normal friend, but seems as though I have put in more feelings that I should have. It doesn't help that she's laughing it off. It feels that I am the only one suffering. I know shouldn't be thinking like that because I just think too much.
There's no work to throw myself in the next week. Only her who would be tapping on her phone. To him.

Oh. So this is what they call " it" , it's really kinda stupid I couldn't understand it last time when my frens spoke to me about it. But now I do. Does it mean I have grown?

All these love songs that I am listening to only sings about the pain after separation or during the relationship. But mine is already like that before anything. I can't believe I am saying such stupid things. Maybe I will laugh one day when I look back. Or
Just feel the ache that i am feeling now. My statements are so cheesy it stings.


1:46 PM


Sunday, July 10, 2011

Why is it so hard.
Why is it so hard to keep the fucking fingers off the fucking phone.
I am a real life human in ur presence ok.
And it doesn't help when it's the person that I like. Seriously.


3:29 AM


Friday, July 08, 2011

Why is it so hard.
Why is it so hard to keep the fucking fingers off the fucking phone.
I am a real life human in ur presence ok.
And it doesn't help when it's the person that I like. Seriously.


10:03 PM


Monday, July 04, 2011

ムズイ。ムリ。


7:08 PM

Then again I should really watch wat I say on my blog. Though I doubt
Anyone would ever read. Hahahha


7:07 PM

My mind is in such a cocked up state. I can't believe I kept thinking about the same thing the same person for the whole weekend.


7:52 AM


Saturday, July 02, 2011

I really need someone to give me a hug now an a pat on the back and say,
"it's ok. You know there will be others out there. There will always be more opportunities for you. And you know I'll always be there. And you know I'll love you always." it's love. Not like.
My siblings wouldn't do so because it's too mushy. Maybe my parents will.


10:38 AM

That's it. That's all that settles it isn't it.
All I need to do clear my mind and give up.
Put up a fight? How much? When the person doesn't even know.

This post is gonna look so hilarious in the future when I look back.


8:36 AM

緊張してる。


1:18 AM


Friday, July 01, 2011

If that person could just be direct and stop making me misunderstand. :(


2:57 PM

苦しいくるしい苦しいくるしい苦しいくるしい苦しいくるしい苦しいくるしい苦しいくるしい苦しいくるしい苦しいくるしい苦しいくるしい苦しいくるしい苦しいくるしい苦しいくるしい苦しいくるしい苦しいくるしい苦しいくるしい苦しい

誰が。助けてください。


11:25 AM

I hope it wouldn't be awkward.

あの人のこと 好きになった？ 自分もわかなくなった。私が他の人を好きになる条件がある？そして、他の人が私のことをすきになるべき？
つかれた。今週これしか考えなかった。


11:22 AM


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