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Tuesday, January 27, 2009

whoo.. finally after two days of being cut off from the world.
urgh. suffocating to be not studying properly..
i think i said more then a couple times abt being really busy with studies..
hahah i mean its like a love hate thing..
hahha one point i like the way it pushes me to improve, be discipline and be occupied..
the other point is the overwhelming pressure of results.
urgh. so grey. morbid feeling.
nowadays.. i am so free of worries.. i started doing rubbish things stirring up problems
and spending tonnness.. tonnnesssss of munny.
MUNNYYYY MONEYYYYYYY


11:33 PM


Tuesday, January 20, 2009

there times where my head had that excrutiating pain, there are times too when my chest had it
the feeling of being made use of by a family member hurts like hell.
hurts really like hell.
maybe the family is too full, is too saturated with love and other people in their hearts
i no longer have a place.
i no longer have a right to be in the view.
yea.
maybe that's why they always say have girls are useless and that they will in the future will not be in the family.
but have they wondered.
on the certification. on the birth registration certificate under the parents column,
it is and will always be them and no one else.
however since the family has no more space, i shall complete my duty till the day i can leave the family on my own and with pride.


9:58 AM


Saturday, January 17, 2009

that feelings sucks.
do you know that it absolutely sucks.
wth did i ever do to belittle my value.
shit man. absolutely
i really hate it.
how i wish i could jusy throw it away or cut it off as punishment
but i'll never be capable of that.
cuz that's just me.
and that's the human relations that we need to have in our lives.
that's why i freakin hate humans and relationships between humans.
omg.
i should become a hermit.


12:33 AM


Thursday, January 15, 2009

I really do believe in true love.
and that it is something really beautiful.
and not something dirtied by men and women who mistakes lust as love.


8:12 PM


Sunday, January 11, 2009

i kinda thought about for awhile.
not just awhile.
a long while
it makes me envious of what she has and i dont have.
when we're the same..
how come she gets and i dont
i guess its just that the differences in us makes her more lovable.
seriously.
kinda weird talking abt these stuff..
but then seriously sometimes i absolutely suspects wat she's telling me..
haah that is thanks to my 小人之心
but it starts to worry me..
i need to find more important stuff in life that those percieved by others to be the most important
to be a complete whole person.


7:34 PM


Saturday, January 10, 2009

i had yet another sleepless night.
argh hate it totally.
the brain just moves and moves and think thinks and think
even though i want it to stop!
images keep flashing and flashing non stop non stop
i flipped and flipped for like 2 hours..
it must be that i have been too free.
the last time i lost sleep was during exams..
but that i could understand cuz i was worried and a tad bit too stressed..
but yesterday was ridiculous!


4:00 PM


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