under the light

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Tuesday, November 13, 2007

wat the HELL
wat the HELL
after u returned everything shit thing became worse and messier.
and u blame me for making stuff messy.
when u were gone i tried so hard so hard to keep everyhting in place when u come back u sort of mess stuff up an dden say its because of me and how to teach these and teach us that
den dont teach us then..
HELL WITH teaching us
i said so many freaking and fucking times some times there are stuff that u cant do for us
and we got to learn to clear stuff and clena our own asses by ourselves
SHIT
SHIT SHIT
i wanna say it so many freaking times... but you just just never fail to make me give up
just give up
give up in explaining my point
everything that i want to reason and need to reason needs to be done through 1000 decibels of shouting
tiring you know
damn tiring
how come everything seems so not correct this year
EVERYTHING
i am not supposed to whine am i
i am not supposed to think too much am i
i am supposed to study hard right am i
i am supposed to consider your freaking feeling even when i kills me to do it am i

since when did suppose come in
since when did i start to feel unhappy about these suppose

i am obligated
ya maybe yes probably
den i really really rather be isolated and unloved
it may be lonely and sad
i am sure it beats having pple hitting and hitting stuff onto me

uni is damn competitive
i feel like a bitch
a bloody asshole
but
some pple are a bitch too
and are bloody assholes to arent they

the change enviroment brings us
the fakeness of people around
i am sure i am gonna face even more
in the future
so i need to find a place
somewhere on earth
please allow me to believe that such a place with such people exists
and please with my many pairs of pretty shoes
please bring me there

i really really care alot about my family
alot alot alot
so much that i think i may even give my life and future for them
even if i may live unhappily
but if its for them
its for them

12:06 AM

Fi- Fi-. C
to find a day where from then on
i would never need to lie again.

i really love vanilla.
for its straightforwardness

.mushiness with reality.

Irreplacable , unerasable memories.
June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 July 2010 September 2010 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 November 2012