under the light

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Sunday, October 28, 2007

the days to the end of the year is becoming less.
soon within the next week it'll be november.
that's really quick.
very very quick.

why does time this year feel so unreal.
:(
i really really need to find an interest in something and be insistent on it.
ah. confused in a maze.

if studying was so easy. everyone could have done it.
but obviously not everyone has done it.
the scholars made it look simple.
hmm..
i probably lost to myself.
xiao shi liao liao da wei bi jia.
this is totally true.
the disappointment the laziness
my eyes are closing.
school is scarey.
the people are worse then i thought
why does it have to start all over again
why do i have to keep making friends maintaining frenship and smile.

since when did i start to find smiling tiring.
even laughing is tiring.
hmm.
hmm.
since when i stopped smiling and laughing when i mean it.
when i laugh at a particular tv programme, i find it amazing!
and memories of the past when i laughed comes back.
but then i find them embrassing.
the moments that i laughed embarassing
since i know it brought me so much trouble or discomfort to others
i really do not need another person to remind me about it.

i really should find a doctor ya.
find a doctor to ask whether there's a way to reduce loudness..
AHHH i am going mad i am going mad.

SHIT ASS. BLOODY SHIT ASS. REALLY BLOODY BLOODY SHIT ASS.

1:32 AM

Fi- Fi-. C
to find a day where from then on
i would never need to lie again.

i really love vanilla.
for its straightforwardness

.mushiness with reality.

Irreplacable , unerasable memories.
June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 July 2010 September 2010 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 November 2012