i've got tonnes and tonnes of things to say think and argue and say sorry and change and study and and and.

yesterday we surprised phong...
i am glad we did and hope we didnt cuz too much disturbance to her class bleah,, hahah sorry la.
and anyway thanks phong for saying never mind. the two 'never mind it's ok huihui,' you said to me yesterday was like the encouragement and boost i needed at the correct time. u might not even remember when u said it but. thanks :) really although i really doubt whether i deserve those. thanks. drink the tea:)

and douya daogay sorry for lying to you. i apologise. hah cuz i just really wanted to give u guys a surprise and have a nice afternoon:)
louie, although we totally didn't talk but i could see you were rather troubled. i really hope you're fine. eat more donuts:)

kai and weiqin had an eventful day ya yesterday. with the kai computer saga and everything. and wq is really damn busy ah evryday also got pple fix appt.

sorry phy,
i really wanted to apologise to you. i am so sorry. i'll explain to you when we meet face to face on of the sat. thank you for like always trusting me and never misunderstanding wat i mean.

and to the bunch of class darlings of cj :)
shun i hope you liked your surprise on tues although it wasn't big or anything but i really hope u felt our friendship:) dont worry. everything will turn out fine! i noe it will for u:)
and to jiahui huisi sarah shun jes thanks really for the birthday present!
haha noe wat i just keep smiling at it even after i've opened it. thanks:)
jiahui thanks for resisting the temptation to use it for like 9 months taking the pains to choose.
and huisi for the times at aspen asking to look at brighter sides or life and my char.
sarah always a listening ear to my never ending troubles.
shun for always giving that much needed pat on the back.
jes for your ever righteous dao li.

next week we'll be returning to school with a whole load of mid sem tests coming.

gotta thank minhui:) for selling me the lit books at such a discounted price. and being everywhere with me.

and dearest viv haha.:) your worries are like neverending,

CRISTAL:) thank you for picking up the call and telling me minhui's hm no. it was really random and i am so sorry that i called just for that but i want to say that ure like ... hehe.. love you la.. we'll go out for dinner one day and catch up!!:) WEST MALL!

charmie:) thanks for accompanying me to study and listening to my crap. haha can hook arms.. oh.. i really hope xinglong doesnt read this haha. no la no offence to him.

xiao yan ah xiao yan.
haha i think i'll cry really badly when u leave next year. i already can feel it when i think that u'll be going off soon. how. how. i really dont noe.

haha like i said i really had tonnes of stuff to say to different people.
my mind is stuffed with trivial stuff and little misunderstandings.
i hope there'll be a day where there's nothing.
i yearn for the time to come.
the time that there's just me and a big green grass pasture for me to breathe, live and love.

i havent had a cca in school yet and i dont intend too.
although i would say i feel the 'itch' whenever i see people 'commanding' organizing leading but the haunting feeling of the past returns.
haha. and with so much family turmoil.
cca the last thing i need.

i dont know if anyone can understand or have been through wat i'm going through now.
the constant awaking in the middle of the night to my parents conversation over the net over the phone. and all i can do is listen silently. i dont know
i really hate the company for putting my family through this.
i really really detest them.
who are they to turn our family topsy turvy.
and force us to redefine the meaning of 'family'
who are they.
they are strangers.
but yet they managed to creep and slide through the creaks and cracks and cause earthquakes.
earth-shattering earthquakes.
yes i maybe more fortunate as compared to many.
but how
how am i gonna adapt to this change at the most rebellious and confused stage
it has magnified everything every trouble every stress and every pressure placed on me.
thanks. for telling me i'm still as weak as ever and always so lazy and cowardly runnng away from difficult things.
thanks. to some of my relatives for sucking blood, for being so cowardly hiding behind my dad's back.

thanks to my friends who give that injection of life sometimes.
thanks to my siblings for being my punching bag and shouting microphone.
thanks to my mum and dad who has toiled their half of their life for us all the way till now.

i want that green pasture to roll laugh breathe and just live on.

i really like these photos.

The one closest to my heart.