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Wednesday, September 20, 2006

hmm... jus finish watching a jap show... :)
actually i think most jap shows are worth watching...
the pretty ladies hot girls cute guys cool boys...
and the enlightening moral values are thinkings behind each episode..

i liked GTO when i was young:)
today i watched a show abt this female teacher with a "untellable" background of a heiress of a mafia group... how determined she is to teach the whole bunch of delinqeunts.. to make them trust her and show them how much hope they have:) solve their problems and all... :) not to mention the two leaders are SOO CUTE!! hahha kk back tot he topic..

hmm.. i was from a good primary school... top EM1 class... 258- i was below average of class by the way.. maybe then i didn't understand... didn't understand how badly some students were treated even though promised equality...

SCGS was a great place there wasnt much discrimination... hmm.. there still is.. it jus gets worse in JC... how do i noe?...
becuz i'm a student who once was high up and now at the rock bottom...
my fault? ya. i'm too lazy.
but that's not the point.
the point the difference in treatment that teachers give.
in secondary school. we were a notorious class... we had no prefects... and me a horrible always shouting at them class rep.. now i feel ao apologetic to them. i was horrible and bad tempered last time. yuck. i sdont even dare to turn up for reunion... i have sucha gross character. runnin away always running away.

in JC? teachers say...' ok let's not compare with the 4 sub classes... we just compare among the 3 sub ones...'

wat the damned is wrong with comparing with the 4 subs!
you noe we'll say things like becuz they are 4 subs wat..
but! BUT!
why dont u turn around and tell us.
tell us that we are no less stupid weak as compared to them.
tell us that we are all in the same school with the same teachers.. so why should we do worse then them?

tell us assure us that... that we can do it. and not jus put us down all the time and only rewarding the top grade people miss soh. mr chua. i worked hard. u noe that i worked hard. u said that i worked harder and improved a little... but then why after u say all these u turn away and give sweets to the'regular customers' .
i'm not being petty abt the rewards.. it's just that i just want that confirmation.
the confirmation from you that watever i did is of use of help of consolation of relieving you of your stress. and u recognise it as a step to a success that i'm suppose to see at the end of the tunnel.

but. i didn't recieve any...
do you have any idea how happy i am to recieve compliments... especially for the things that i worked really hard and care really much for. form young... even though from top class in primary school.. i dont remember getting any...
maybe the feeling i get when i recieve them from people i so respect is fo good that i become addicted to it.. become so much of a 'teacher's pet' unable to defy instructions or state my true ideas.

gross. that's all ihave got to say abt myself. i want a teacher like yakumi in the show. i'm too greedy. being a teacher seems meaningful afterall.


11:26 PM


Fi- Fi-. C
to find a day where from then on
i would never need to lie again.

i really love vanilla.
for its straightforwardness

.mushiness with reality.

Irreplacable , unerasable memories.
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